Terrible Things
by FifiDoll
Summary: Family fic. Kurt is complaining to his dad and things take a turn - to Kurt's mother. Angsty and sad but a fic of Burt reflecting on the past and finally letting Kurt into his mother's keepsakes. Inspired by Terrible Things by Mayday Parade.


"_It's Blaine," Kurt spun around to face his dad. "He's interested in Rachel."_

"_I'm confused, I thought he was gay too," Burt turned to grab a beer from the refrigerator, unprepared for the talk they were about to have._

"_He is," Kurt insisted quickly. "He is. He's just…experimenting."_

Popping the top off his beer, Burt looked over at Kurt, sensing a little distress. "You really like this kid, don't you?" he asked.

Kurt nodded, avoiding his father's eyes. "C'mon, we need to talk," Burt said gruffly, leading Kurt down to the basement.

Boxes still littered the space, mostly old ones filled with memories of past spouses and Finn and Kurt's childhoods. Tugging at a battered white box in the corner, Burt brought it out and over to the lawn table and chairs that were still inside. It was winter and they were waiting until spring to put the furniture in the yard. Sitting down, Kurt watched his father curiously. Burt slowly pulled the lid off of the box and looked inside. The silence in the room hung heavy on Kurt's shoulders.

"Look, Kurt," his father began as he leafed through stray photographs at the top of the box. "When I was your age – well, it seemed like dating was the most important thing. I don't think that's changed," he looked over at Kurt, who shook his head with disdain. "Well, anyway, yeah. I didn't care about school or sports or college – I just wanted a girlfriend. You know, to be cool, and be like everyone else."

Kurt watched his father through narrowed eyes, wondering where the conversation was going. He'd never really ever talked about the past with his father. Ever since his mom died, the past was off limits. It was too painful.

_By the time I was your age, I'd give anything.  
>To fall in love truly was all I could think.<br>That's when I met your mother, the girl of my dreams;  
>The most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.<em>

"Senior year I met your mother. She transferred in to my high school for her last year," Burt explained, his voice tender, his eyes focused on something in the distance. "She was in my homeroom and I think I stared at her for weeks before I even learned her name. Kurt, she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I knew the minute I saw her that she was the one. I couldn't talk to her, though. She seemed so much better than me, you know? I thought she was out of my league."

By the time he was old enough to wonder about how his parents met, Kurt could never ask. His mother hadn't been gone long and any time they would talk about her, his dad would get upset. It was like her memory left with her and was finally being discovered again after nine years. Kurt hung on his father's every word, savoring this rare moment where his father would actually talk about his mother.

"You can imagine my shock when she came up and asked me to the homecoming dance that fall," Burt said with a laugh. "I was so surprised I couldn't even say yes. All I did was nod – I was such an idiot back then." He laughed at the memory, his look wistful. "She even told me that she'd noticed how much I was staring at her. I was so embarrassed. Even after the homecoming dance, I couldn't believe she'd asked me and that I actually went with her. I was head over heels for her, even then."

Kurt watched his father, tears welling in his eyes. He never would have expected that their relationship had started that way. His dad was always so headstrong; it was hard to imagine him a bumbling nervous teenager, especially around his mother. They had been so comfortable with each other every day of Kurt's life.

_She said, "Boy, can I tell you a wonderful thing?  
>I can't help but notice you staring at me.<br>I know shouldn't say this but I really believe -  
>I can tell by your eyes that you're in love with me."<em>

_Now, son, I'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things."_

"After that we were always together. I got used to the idea that someone as beautiful as your mom would want to spend time with me. I swear, we were inseparable after that dance," Burt shook his head, the memories flooding his brain. He tried to keep his composure as he continued, "I didn't have a job back then so I couldn't take her on nice fancy dates like the other guys could. Her dad hated me for that, but she didn't mind. We'd go out in my truck and watch the stars, even in the winter. That was enough for her."

Burt's voice wavered when he said, "The night after we graduated, I told her I loved her. It was the scariest moment of my life. I'd wanted to tell her that for months but I just couldn't find the courage. She just…Kurt, your mother was so amazing."

Kurt's breath hitched in his throat. His father was getting choked up, the emotions coming to the surface, pain etching itself across his weathered features. Kurt watched his father closely, begging him with his eyes not to stop. He wanted to know more – he _needed_ to know more.

_Now most of the time we'd have too much to drink.  
>We'd laugh at the stars and share everything.<br>Too young to notice and too dumb to care;  
>Love was a story that couldn't compare.<em>

"I got a job that summer helping my dad with the shop," Burt said, referring to Hummel Tire and Lube. Burt had taken over his father's business not long after that summer. "I should have been worrying about college and the future, but all I cared about was saving up. I bought your mom a ring that summer. We were engaged that August."

He pulled out a little black box. It was half-wrapped in plain brown paper and some loose string. Burt held the box out to Kurt. "That's the box from the ring. I wrapped it in that stuff and everything."

Kurt looked up at his father, his eyes watery and wide. "You kept it?"

"Your mom insisted," Burt said reminiscently. "She said it was the sweetest gift she'd ever gotten. I was too scared to actually get down on one knee and stuff – I uh…I had this bad habit of being really clumsy around her. So I wrapped it instead and gave it to her in that. She thought it was romantic and kept it."

"That _was _romantic," Kurt said, a nostalgic smile on his face.

He ran the box and string through his fingers; his mother had touched this box. This had been one of the most prized possessions his mother owned. Holding something so significant to her was overwhelming for him; he set the box on the table next to him, waiting for his father to continue.

_I said, "Girl can I tell you a wonderful thing?  
>I made you a present with paper and string.<br>Open with care, now I'm asking you please,  
>You know that I love you; will you marry me?"<em>

"Now, Kurt, I'm just…I'm trying to help you out here," Burt said, his voice gruff. He was trying to keep the emotion from his voice. "Kurt, life sucks. It's hard. I don't regret one single moment with your mother. Just – I need you to know this."

Kurt nodded, watching his father closely. Burt took a moment to gather his composure.

_Now son, I'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things.  
>You'll learn one day – I'll hope and I'll pray that God shows you differently.<em>

Sighing, Burt continued, "We got married and had you and everything was perfect. We were so in love and you were perfect – you still are. Your mom was so good with you. I wish I didn't have to work so much – I missed so much."

"Dad, no," Kurt insisted. He was not going to let his father start having regrets.

"I needed to support you guys, though," Burt interrupted Kurt. "I know that, and I don't regret it. But sometimes – sometimes I'd work overtime just so we could go out for nice dinners and stuff. Those things seem so unimportant now. I worked away my time with your mother just to try to make her happy and I wish I'd just…spent time with her instead. You, too."

Kurt choked back the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. "The day she got home from the doctor's with the news…" Burt was blinking more, tears obviously coming to his own eyes. "That was one of the worst days of my life. I'd never seen her so sad in my life. I never wanted to see her like that ever again. It broke my heart, Kurt. And telling you was even harder. The pain in your eyes, and hers, it was just…unbearable. I never wanted to let her go. I didn't want to see you hurting, either. It broke my heart just to think about it all, Kurt."

Tears were spilling down Kurt's cheeks now. He remembered that day vaguely; his parents had both been crying. He just crawled up on the couch between them and listened as they tried to explain to him that his mother would be leaving. She was going to leave and couldn't come back. He didn't understand it then, but when it happened, it hurt.

"When your mom…when she died, I thought my life was ending too. I was with her when she went – it was so hard, Kurt. I cried for days," Burt explained. Kurt had been staying with his aunt that week. "My heart broke that day. It was the worst day of my life. Telling you was the hardest thing, though. You were so innocent and carefree – I didn't even know if you'd understand what I was telling you. I _never_ want you to feel like that, Kurt. It was like my whole world was ending."

_She said, "Boy can I tell you a terrible thing?  
>It seems that I'm sick and I've only got weeks.<br>Please don't be sad now, I really believe  
>You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me."<em>

_Slow, so slow, I fell to the ground on my knees._

"Kurt, I love you. You're all I have left and you know I'd do anything for you," Burt said, blinking the tears away. Kurt's tears never stopped falling. "I want you to be happy. I want you to have a love like me and your mom had. Just – don't rush it and get your heart broken, okay?" Kurt nodded, hanging on his father's every word. "Maybe Blaine will be that guy for you. Maybe he won't. Just – don't rush into things. Wait patiently and you'll find someone just as amazing as your mom."

Kurt just thought about it all. His dad's words were like a huge weight on him – a weight he was happy to have. He finally knew about his mother and how his parents met. It was so overwhelming. "What's it like?" Kurt asked softly.

"What's what like?" Burt asked.

Kurt swallowed and wiped away his tears. "Love."

"I don't think I could put it into words," Burt shook his head. Kurt looked disappointed. "But…if I had to, I'd probably say," he thought about it and chose his words carefully. "You'll know. You'll want to be around that person all the time; imagining life without them would be impossible." He swallowed before admitting softly, "Living without them would be the hardest thing in the world."

Kurt stood and walked over to his dad. He wrapped his arms around his father and just hugged him. "Kurt, I'm going to do everything I can so you can have a normal, happy life like everyone else. You know, get married and stuff. Whatever you want, I'll do my best to make it happen. I want you to be as happy as I was – as happy as I finally am again."

"Thank you," Kurt whispered into his father's shoulder.

Burt hugged his son close and said, "I love Carole, you know that. But I'm never going to forget your mother, Kurt, and neither should you. She was a beautiful, wonderful woman. You remind me of her, you know that? Not just the habits of hers you still have, or how you're the strong one, but…her eyes. You have her eyes and every time I look at you I just remember."

Kurt knew that. Right after his mother had died, his dad couldn't look him in the eyes. It took almost a year before Burt could really look at Kurt. The memories had been too painful back then. Kurt understood now, but at the time it hurt him. Life was so hard for both of them back then. "Just don't get hurt," Burt said, releasing Kurt from their hug.

Strong arms rested on Kurt's forearms. He looked up into his father's eyes as his dad continued, "Let Blaine test the waters with Rachel. If he likes her, let him go for it. It may feel like you two are in love, and maybe it will turn into that, but maybe it won't. Maybe you need to get out of here and go off to college in some big fancy city first," Kurt looked at him skeptically, but Burt shook his head, "Don't look at me like that. You know you're going to be able to go wherever you want." Kurt sighed; he knew it was true. "Maybe you just have to get out of here to find the love of your life."

Kurt nodded. The thought had crossed his mind before. "You'll find love, Kurt," Burt insisted. "It takes time. Before your mom, I thought I'd be alone forever. Honestly."

With a little laugh, Kurt just hugged his dad again. "Thanks, dad," he said softly.

"You're welcome," Burt replied.

Kurt turned to go upstairs, but Burt stopped him as he put the photos and ring box back in the big white cardboard box. "If you ever want to look at these things – they're your mom's – feel free," Burt told him. "You deserve to know as much about her as you want. I'm sorry I never let you look before."

With a teary-eyed smile, Kurt said, "Thanks."

Burt put the box in the corner, making sure Kurt knew exactly where it was. He followed his son upstairs to the kitchen where they set to work on attempt number two. Making soufflés was hard work, but after their talk in the basement, Kurt was determined to be less snippy with his father and make the best soufflé ever – it had been his mother's favorite dessert, after all.

_So don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose.  
>If given the choice then I beg you to choose<br>to walk away, walk away. Don't let it get you.  
>I can't bear to see the same thing happen to you.<em>

_Now, son, I'm only telling you this because life can do terrible things._


End file.
